What Makes Your Second Marriage Successful?

In India, since 2014, the number of divorcees has quadrupled. More than one million couples have said goodbye to each other each year. Many divorced profiles are flocking second marriage websites. A boom that has no equal in history. But for a union that ends, another can be born. And so the citizens who have decided to give themselves a new chance, by getting married again, have progressively increased. A courageous choice, but which also hides many risks. Second marriages are in fact more exposed to the risk of separation because it is easy to make the mistakes that led to the first breakup again, and because in many cases the fear of failure again represents an obstacle to the relationship.

Honesty

The first thing to do is to be honest with yourself, to make sure you really have the emotional, cognitive and affective space to start a second marriage. A stable relationship requires numerous adjustments to survive and there are many reasons why some stories end.

Awareness

Before committing again to another person, it is also important to be aware of one's own needs. "Sometimes saying yes again, as well as not saying it, could be the result of not very courageous choices or, rather, not very elaborate. It is not, therefore, yes or no that determines the success of a new sentimental experience, but the possibility of being in tune with one's own developmental needs. Know what you want for your well-being".

Past

The third advice is to be sure that you have resolved the most relevant issues with your family of origin, so as not to bring relational ballast from the past into the new couple. If you have children it is important to distinguish a romantic relationship from parenthood. We must teach children that, although the two areas are close, they must have clear and well-defined boundaries.

Commitment

There is another suggestion to protect yourself as much as possible from a new failure: it is necessary to deeply understand that romantic relationships promote well-being. Only in this way is it possible to commit to feeding it: no story grows if it is not fed. To avoid the fear that the separation will repeat itself, it is necessary to be aware that we were an active part of that experience, even if lived in a very different way.

Focus

It is also crucial to be able to see the new experience as a true second marriage. Living the present with another partner without having completely closed the accounts with what has been, even from a psychological point of view, is very risky. It is a big mistake to try to heal wounds that belong to the past.

Acceptance

Another tip is to understand that failure is a fundamental ingredient of all experiences. Tolerating and managing it is necessary, healthy and is also a valuable teaching for children. "Once they grow up they will be able to build their relationships as a couple even taking into account the family model to which they have been exposed. Being happy and taking care of your well-being is a very important life lesson for a child".

Learn

Another important rule requires learning from what has already happened. We must look to the past to understand what has happened: there is no new life, but simply the same one that continues by reconnecting the knots even of what has not worked.